Not often do I write something interstg, I feel I have brought two types of changes offlate(is this something brought or happens). I feel that in the last two years of my life I have become somehow subdued and more introvert. Well I feel that some part of it was deliberate, I talk abt the first half when I came to delhi to join GBO, Initially I was really full of confidence and energy and thought that I can really make for the things which I had lost in the past year, but after few months I lost interest and I am not blaming the course or anything else . It happened out of inner experimentation. That’s one really one of strange thing of life that when u try to pretend to be mature and try to carry the baggage of responsibility on ur shoulders, then u force some changes upon urself, same thing happened to me( that’s why I said this change was brought). Well today when I am in the process of making sense of things, I feel rather regret that I shld have continued wid my orginal part, now the whole point which I try to convey here is that I have somehow lost touch wid reality
But over the past few months there is another change happening to me, I would say that I am to realize that one cnt pretend too long, I had made my life a chain of events where if one piece in the chain is missing I am not able to move on to next event, its quite strange that I am trying to give meaning to my inner feeling and judgements which I have made over the last year but after enough dwelling I came to the conclusion that Its too long waiting for each nut to be perfect to comlete the chain. Now in the last few months esp dec I have somehow changed my outlook and decided that life cant wait for events rather it should be lived in present(sooooooothing words) , there today I have decided to be what I am not let the burden of some f**k things let me down
Now time have come to enjoy and get ready for holidays ,,,,,,,,,,,,,contemplating abt going to chd and my village, god knws when probably after fest
